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Your pet is a part of your family and losing them can be emotionally devastating. If you or someone you know recently lost a canine companion, we offer you our most sincere condolences. We’ve been there and understand the pain you are feeling right now.
Here are some additional strategies and insights to help you work through this difficult time.
The Grief Process
Everyone deals with grief in different ways. Strong initial emotions my preclude the inevitable sadness that comes when the shock is gone. These reactions are often taken out on those closest to the one experiencing the loss, and act almost as a means of protection for that person until they are able to face the truth.
The process, as a whole, may look like the following:
- Denial and/or anger
- Guilt
- Sadness and/or grief
- Depression
- Acceptance
Dealing With Your Grief
While grieving is a very individual and personal thing, there comes a time for us all when it’s best to stop feeling the loss and to actively choose to move past it. The right time for you, will not necessarily be the same as someone else. Depending on how long it takes you to move through denial and get to acceptance, it could take weeks or it could take years for you to become ready to deal with your grief. When you are ready, however, you don’t have to face it alone.
Facing Death Together
Aside from willing family and/or friends, there are entire communities of people who feel just like you and want to connect. Types of support include:
- Pet-bereavement counseling
- Pet-loss support hotlines
- Online and/or local pet-loss support groups and forums
If sitting down for a one-on-one with an actual counselor, or even getting up the nerve to attend a local support group proves too much at this point in your process, Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary medicine offers a toll-free, Pet Loss Support Hotline for grieving parties. You can also add your thoughts below to receive Pet Loss Support from our community here.
Personally Facing Death
While outside support is an important tool for coping with your grief, there are some things that a support group can’t do for you… you have to do them for yourself.
Here are a few things that you can do on your own to help on your path to recovery:
- Acknowledge your sadness, embrace it, and give yourself permission to feel and express this pain! It’s a vital part of the healing process.
- Write out your feelings. Whether it’s in a personal journal or an essay on Fido that you submit for publication, writing is extremely cathartic.
- Volunteer with a local animal shelter. While this may be best left for the later stages of grief, just like helping other people helps you forget your own problems, helping other animals will help you move past your loss.
- Prepare a memorial for your pet. The act of having a service, saying a few words, and laying your pup to rest will definitely help give you the closure you need.
Dealing With Reality
Beyond your grief lies reality: Whether you’re having to make the tough decision to euthanize your sick or aging pet, or if your pet is already gone and you’re having to deal with the memorial, and burial or cremation arrangements, the reality of these situations can come crashing down on you like a ton of bricks.
This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to turn. We’ll walk you through these separate scenarios so you can confidently cope with whatever comes your way throughout the process.
Dog Euthanasia
As your pet ages, or in the event that your otherwise healthy pup should become unexplainably ill or injured beyond recovery, it may be necessary to become emotionally prepared to euthanize your pet. From knowing when it’s time, how to say goodbye and what to expect next, our article on Dog Euthanasia will walk you through this difficult process so you don’t have to do it alone.
Dog Cremation
Whether your dog’s death was of natural causes, or you were forced to make that tough decision yourself to end his or her pain and suffering, once your dog has passed comes the matter of cremation or burial. Our article on dog cremation and burial offers information on the process of dealing with the remains, and options for memorializing your pet after death.
Remembering Your Pet
Don’t forget: The best way to honor your pet, your four-legged family member, is to remember the good times you had together and to be grateful that you were given the valuable time you had. Gratefulness goes a long way in the healing process, and helps us remember that, despite the heartache when our sweet ones pass on, that it was worth it… and that one day, it will be worth it again.
Rainbow Bridge Can Comfort One Dealing With The Loss Of A Pet
Whether you are dealing with the loss of a pet yourself or helping a loved one manage their pain, the Rainbow Bridge is always a nice story to share your sympathy in a very empathetic and caring way.
Source: CanineJournal.com
To share this infographic on your site, simply copy and paste the code below:
Video: Rainbow Bridge Song
Discussing and sharing stories of your pet after losing them one way to begin the healing process. We welcome you to leave memories of your dog in our comments below.
Another sweet idea is to create a dog gift or photo book with your loved one’s photo to remember them. Looking back through old photos allows you to relive the memories you cherished together.
How will you remember your pet?
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He was the light of my life , he saved my life by alerting me to breast cancer,
He had a heart attack a few months after my treatment finished and the vets got him through it . Once again few months after he had a stroke before my very eyes once again the vets got him through it, he was on heart meds and blood pressure meds. About three weeks after his stroke I noticed a small marble size lump on his throat I took him to vets and they said it was either lymphoma or abscess we treated him for abscess but no difference took him back to vets and had a test done it cam back negative, but the lump grew to the size of a golf ball in a matter of weeks I took him back to vets and they said it had to come out, on the last March 2019 he went in for operation but the vet came out oftheatre to tell me it was cancer and attached to his trachea, he could take it outbutwoukdbe back within a couple months, I had to make that decision to let him go.
It’s now been nearly ten months and I still cry I miss him so so much I feel guilty because of what he done for me but I couldn’t do it for him, I couldn’t put him through chemo his heart would not have coped. I can’t even talk about him without crying, deep down I know I done the right thing but it’s not making me feel any better I want him back.
I cannot bring myself to get another dog for fear I could not love them as much as I loved him.
I look at rescue dogs but I just fill up with tears for Leo , I really feel my heart is breaking into pieces
I have is ashes alongside my other dog who I got from battersea when she was six months old and she got just short of her 19th birthday and I had to let her go.
Sorry I went on a bit but I really do miss him so much
I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Leo. I too put my beautiful Bluey girl down on the 31st of March, because of cancer( multiple myeloma). Multiple myeloma like lymphoma is a definite death sentence. I found out she had it only 6 weeks before I put her down. She couldn’t even turn herself over in bed anymore. The cancer was affecting so many systems and organs in her body. She stopped going to the toilet. Couldn’t stand up. Her breathing was so laboured. Touching her hurt her bones. It was awful.I was one of those owners who always tried to stay ahead of the game with prevention through a healthy diet and lifestyle for my best girl . We went to the vets often and started going monthly when she was diagnosed with arthritis last July. Despite looking for cancer, I missed it . When I did find out that she had it through another vet, I can only try to describe it as the sky came falling down.He recommend chemo. I took her for a second opinion to my long time family vet and he advised against chemo. Instead recommending holistically supporting her body through what is an inevitable death with or without chemo.The cancer had metastasized.Her body completely failed just 6 weeks later. Chemo might have bought her more time I now realise. The worst thing is that I fear it might have even eased her pain according to the hundreds of articles that I have read on the subject since her death. My guilt too is all consuming. I struggle and still cry every day. One thing that you and I both know is that we loved those dogs. We loved them in the most beautiful and pure and unconditionally as love can be. We didn’t want them to suffer was the bottom line. We knew that they were dying. We didn’t want them to die painfully, through a heart attack,blood clot,septicaemia,acytes or toxicity from their poisoned livers,kidneys even their blood.We didn’t want them to suffer more. We wanted to ensure we would be by their side also at the end. We loved those dogs Evelyn. I personally believe that We will be with our dogs again for many reasons. I won’t go into it to much on this site because I know not everyone wants to hear it. I definitely do believe this though. When it comes to the subject of getting another dog, I really think that you should when you think you are ready.We will always be dog people. We just don’t have the one most special one that our hearts desire to be with the most. That love is a connection for life(and beyond), and will never be broken. If you get a new dog Evelyn, you will never love it like you loved Leo. That is a good thing though. However because you are aware of that, your obviously strong maternal instincts will kick in; and you will love your new dog in a way that most dogs unfortunately never get to experience in any real way from human beings. Go get a rescue dog. You have alot of love to give. Leo only made your heart bigger.
God Bless You Evelyn and Leo
him go. I called the vet, and took him in. I keep thinking now how fast it was all over—10 seconds maybe? I sobbed my heart out and I still don’t know how I was able to get up after it was over. It’s been 11 days, and we still can’t get over the silence. The mornings are the worst for me. We had a routine of walking or driving to the park everyday at 7am, weather permitting. And, although towards his final days he no longer wanted to go, my mind still wakes at the same time hoping to see his happy face and wagging tail greet me by the door. But he’s not there. The cadence in the house seems so off. I’ve tried everything. Moved furniture, got rid of his bowls, his toys the bed, etc. But, it’s just not the same. At times a longing just overtakes me and I feel it so deeply it takes my breath away. And, I find myself wishing I could just see him and hold him one more time. It’s so debilitating, sometimes I’m unable to get any work done when this happens. I wonder if anyone else here can relate. In a few weeks I will get his ashes. I will spread some in the park where we did our daily walks, and an engraved stone will be placed in the memorial garden that’s located there. I hope this will help me find closure and that in time I will manage my grief better. Right now, writing this experience down, although difficult, I feel has helped a little. I feel that by putting it in writing, I’m keeping his memory alive, and that this will help me cope. He was my favorite hello and by far my hardest goodbye. Thank you and my prayers to all of you experiencing this kind of pain.
I am trying to focus on the positive, to remember that amazing life that we have been able to provide for her. She was abandoned when she was around three, left to fend for herself. We took her in and were blessed with the most well-behaved and loving dog. Everyone who met her wanted to take her home, even people who were afraid of dogs. But the years have gone by and now her life is coming to an end. It is heartbreaking to see her so still, too tired to react to her favourite toys. We did everything we could to bring happiness to her life. It makes me sad to know that our loving memories end here but I just hope she goes on, knowing that we loved her and happy with the life she had.
November 12, 2019
When my husband woke up, our dog was nowhere to be found. He called me at work, my heart stopped and I drove as fast as I could to get here and look for him together.
We looked and looked for hours, some neighbors we didn’t even know also started looking for him. Some people we asked saw him running really fast on the street about 30 mins before I arrived but no one tried to catch him.
We kept looking for him but he was nowhere to be found and I knew deep down in my heart something bad had happened for him to go missing for so many hours. After 4 hours of looking we drove past a busy road and our worst nightmare came true. We found him dead on the side of the road, obviously run over by a car.
I loved this dog just like I love my child, I rescued him 4 years ago and wanted to give him a good long life but I feel like I failed and I feel so hurt and guilty about it. I am 5 months pregnant and I was looking forward for our family to grow. I can’t stop crying thinking the way my dog died. I had promised I would care for him forever and protect him. I miss him so much and I can’t stop wondering why he run off to that busy road? Out of all the quiet streets and parks in the neighborhood why would he go there, I just don’t understand and it’s killing me.
I hope one day I can forgive myself and my husband for what happened. I am so sorry my boy for not being there to protect you. Rest In Peace, you will always live in my heart and my mind.
I’m so grateful for the time we spent together eventhough it was not as long as you deserved to live.
I again sat next to him, as he panted, and asked him if it was time and that it was on him when he was leaving and he just gazed at me with those blue eyes of his and I knew immediately that the end was near. The next two nights were spent by his side in a rotation between my girl friend and I. She had grown very attached to him due to his loving and gentle nature. Her face was the only one I had ever seen him lick in affection and I could generally tell that he trusted her as much as he trusted me..maybe even more lol. When my gf realized that the end was near and his health was declining rapidly she ask me “what do I do? I don’t know what to do!” Through tears. I, resigned to the fact that nothing short of god coming down in human form and curing tank, simply stated “we just need to love him and be there for him. His time is coming.” We both agreed that his final mommemts on earth would be spent surrounded by love.
He quickly became bed bound and I had to move his water bowl close to his bed as his back legs had given out on him in an earlier attempt to drink water and ear some of his soft food. I remember getting ready for work and him just laying on the ground following me with his eyes around the room. Right before I walked out the house I got on my knees in front of him and kissed his forehead and told him I would be back soon and this his momma would be home shortly after I left. He followed me out the house with his eyes as I walked out the garage door. I remember looking at him the entire way out..hating the fact that I could not stay with him but being ok with the fact that my gf would soon be by his side. She has a very nurturing nature with animals so I knew he would be comfortable with her.
As my evening at work progressed my gf’s updates on tank kept getting more grim by the hour. He managed to muster up enough stress to get off his new doggy bed and walk about 15 feet across the living room floor towards the garage door. He laid back down and stayed where he was the rest of the night until I got home a little past 12am. By the time I walked through the door I had made up my mind that although I had promised not to put him to sleep I was no longer comfortable watching him suffer that way. As I walked through my garage door I announced my presence and saw his tail wag gently against the floor and saw him try and lift his head to try and find me. I told my gf that we needed to get him ready because we were going to put him to sleep. As I sat by his head and began petting it he lifted his tail and went poo while simultaneously going into a seizure. I told my gf, who by this point was crying uncontrollably, that he was about to leave us. His breathing became more labored and spaced between breaths and I could see the peace settling in his eyes. His suffering was almost over. I put my hand on his with the other over his chest and began praying. While feeling his heart slowing own I began praying and telling him that it was ok to leave.. that he had been an amazing dog and that I was sorry I wasn’t a better owner to him. “Please go bubs. Its ok to go. We’ll see each other again. Please stop suffering” and with that he let out his final few breaths and I felt his chest go quiet. He was gone. My best friend and companion of 10 year who I bottle fed as a 5 week old and who loyally went through every imaginable life event with me was gone. With him a piece of my heart.
This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with or go through. Ever. I take solace in numerous things though. He stayed the time I needed to grieve and come to terms that his illness was terminal and accept it. Also to the fact that although I intended to break my promise with him he decided that he was gonna leave this world on his terms and in the comfort of his house with his mom and dad. I also take solace in the fact that he waited for me to get home to leave. I like to think that his tail wag and head raise when I walked into the house was his final way of saying “you’re home! Now I can rest.” He taught me so many things.
I’ll never forget him. He was my boy. He was my loyal best friend. I’ll miss him till the day i die and we meet again. I know that when my day comes, When ever it comes, my sweet boy will be there waiting for with his big beautiful blue eyes tail wagging up a storm. See ya on the other side bubs! Love You!
She was my everything. I can’t bear this pain in my heart of losing her. She brought so much joy in my life. Lola, I am sorry I was not there for you, to protect you from the pain and trauma you went through. I will always have you in my heart. Now you can run around and play with Hercules like before. Tell him we miss him so much too.
I will never forget you and you will never be replaced. Thank you for being the best dog ever. I love you forever.
In order to keep other dogs safe in your home, neighborhood, etc., be sure to decontaminate everything in your home, yard, etc. Read the article I linked above to keep other dogs safe. You are all in my thoughts.
It’s been two days without you and we miss you so much.
You brought so much joy and laughter to our little home. We hope we made you a tenth as happy as you made us.
It was stupid of us to try to fix what was already perfect. I’m sure your beautiful soul already forgave us… I hope someday we can forgive ourselves.
Whenever you feel lonely, find grandma Petrita. She’ll sing to you ‘Rayito de Sol’, as I used to.
We love you, my precious boy. We remember you. Someday we’ll be together again, and we’ll run and chase each other 🙂
Kisses.
It’s more than a day later and I still can’t believe it.
I loved you so much.
I LOVE you so much.
Even 50 years with you by my side wouldn’t have been long enough for me. There were many times where you and your brother felt like my only friends. Even if you guys couldn’t talk back, you still listened to all of my secrets and loved me when it felt like nobody else did.
I am so blessed to have had the pleasure of being a part of your family.
Thank you for loving me too.
I miss you Captain xxxx
Hard time with the grief. My vet recommended I talk to someone about it and so here i am. They told me to not blame my self there is nothing I can do about it.
My advice to you is to allow yourself to feel this grief and continue to take care of yourself. Seek out a professional’s help if you need someone to speak with in person. You are in my thoughts.
My heart go’s out to you hun, try to stay strong, I know it’s bloody hard , I’m still trying to get myself together. Just know you are not on your own here.
I am sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling. I struggled with when to put my dog Faith down for a few months. She was 17.5 years old and started showing signs of dementia and had lost about 90% of her eyesight. She had Arthritis and I tried all the prescriptions and the hemp oil. All worked for a while and then didn’t. One day I would think now is the time and the next she was back to her own self again. I finally made the decision when she was in pain. The day I put her down she ate breakfast! I knew it was the right time because I didn’t want her to suffer the pain she had that day. The clinic that I go to was awesome through the euthanasia process. That was Monday and I cry every day. I miss her so much. She was with me through so many stages in my life (when my dad died was the big one). I know she is in a better place.
Where you born? We don’t know. Who are your parents? We don’t know.
But you came to our life and accepted us as your parents. You spread lots of joy and happiness in to our family.
We had different language but we never need any interpretation between us. We had lots of cross language talk.
You understand us better, I remember your cheers on happy moments of family. I feel your sorrowness on tough time of family.
We are sorry if we missed something to take care of you. We are sorry if missed something for you. We are sorry if we couldn’t understand your language.
Forgive us for whatever we couldn’t make for you. Just remember about good time we have together.
You will be in our hearts forever, Love you ‘Crystal’
I hope you all find a way through your grief – it is a truly horrible experience, but reaching out to others who understand, and looking after yourself is important. The term ‘self-care’ has taken on a new meaning for me. I have always been so focused on looking after others (my mother, then my Snowbell) that my needs came second. Now is a time for me to look after myself, at least for a while, until my heart begins to open to another little life that needs my care and love. One day…
Thank you for giving us all comfort in your lovely message.
This dog was my first dog and was mine before I met my wife. She was joined at the hip with me. To say I had 16 wonderful years with her would be an understatement. I am convinced I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the love and joy she gave me. Every morning I still tell her good morning, and every night I tell her good night. It has been just over 34 weeks since her passing and it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. Just today, I drove past her favorite park and thought of how much she enjoyed walks and tormenting the ducks. I pulled over and walked the path we once walked all the while thinking of her. I wear a necklace every day with some of her ashes in it. I guess you could say we were at the park together again.
I’m really not typing this for any reason but to express feelings. I guess I’m looking for some kind of healing. I just hope that little Daisy is waiting for me and one day we will get to see each other again.
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with., I’ve had family members pass away before but nothing like this. My 6 year old boy Captain was my best friend , we were truely sole mates ….RIP my handsome boy.
When when will this heart ache go away
I received my Captain’s ashes this morning, cried and cried, I can’t believe it’s been a week since he’s been gone., the longest week ever. I feel sick to my stomach every day. I keep asking myself why did my handsome boy get cancer, … It’s a cruel world sometimes, how some people just don’t deserve such pain and heartache in their life. I ask myself why this has happened to Captain, I believe I’m a good person and always strive to be better. I work in aged care and look after the elderly. Love my job , but finding hard to focus at times.
I feel for you Valeria and everyone that has posted hear.
My thoughts are with you all
Run free at the bridge my darling girl. Ghillie will join you soon so you don’t need to be afraid or lonely.
I have 2 other dogs and we are in pain.