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Your pet is a part of your family and losing them can be emotionally devastating. If you or someone you know recently lost a canine companion, we offer you our most sincere condolences. We’ve been there and understand the pain you are feeling right now.
Here are some additional strategies and insights to help you work through this difficult time.
The Grief Process
Everyone deals with grief in different ways. Strong initial emotions my preclude the inevitable sadness that comes when the shock is gone. These reactions are often taken out on those closest to the one experiencing the loss, and act almost as a means of protection for that person until they are able to face the truth.
The process, as a whole, may look like the following:
- Denial and/or anger
- Guilt
- Sadness and/or grief
- Depression
- Acceptance
Dealing With Your Grief
While grieving is a very individual and personal thing, there comes a time for us all when it’s best to stop feeling the loss and to actively choose to move past it. The right time for you, will not necessarily be the same as someone else. Depending on how long it takes you to move through denial and get to acceptance, it could take weeks or it could take years for you to become ready to deal with your grief. When you are ready, however, you don’t have to face it alone.
Facing Death Together
Aside from willing family and/or friends, there are entire communities of people who feel just like you and want to connect. Types of support include:
- Pet-bereavement counseling
- Pet-loss support hotlines
- Online and/or local pet-loss support groups and forums
If sitting down for a one-on-one with an actual counselor, or even getting up the nerve to attend a local support group proves too much at this point in your process, Tufts University Cummings School of Veterinary medicine offers a toll-free, Pet Loss Support Hotline for grieving parties. You can also add your thoughts below to receive Pet Loss Support from our community here.
Personally Facing Death
While outside support is an important tool for coping with your grief, there are some things that a support group can’t do for you… you have to do them for yourself.
Here are a few things that you can do on your own to help on your path to recovery:
- Acknowledge your sadness, embrace it, and give yourself permission to feel and express this pain! It’s a vital part of the healing process.
- Write out your feelings. Whether it’s in a personal journal or an essay on Fido that you submit for publication, writing is extremely cathartic.
- Volunteer with a local animal shelter. While this may be best left for the later stages of grief, just like helping other people helps you forget your own problems, helping other animals will help you move past your loss.
- Prepare a memorial for your pet. The act of having a service, saying a few words, and laying your pup to rest will definitely help give you the closure you need.
Dealing With Reality
Beyond your grief lies reality: Whether you’re having to make the tough decision to euthanize your sick or aging pet, or if your pet is already gone and you’re having to deal with the memorial, and burial or cremation arrangements, the reality of these situations can come crashing down on you like a ton of bricks.
This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to turn. We’ll walk you through these separate scenarios so you can confidently cope with whatever comes your way throughout the process.
Dog Euthanasia
As your pet ages, or in the event that your otherwise healthy pup should become unexplainably ill or injured beyond recovery, it may be necessary to become emotionally prepared to euthanize your pet. From knowing when it’s time, how to say goodbye and what to expect next, our article on Dog Euthanasia will walk you through this difficult process so you don’t have to do it alone.
Dog Cremation
Whether your dog’s death was of natural causes, or you were forced to make that tough decision yourself to end his or her pain and suffering, once your dog has passed comes the matter of cremation or burial. Our article on dog cremation and burial offers information on the process of dealing with the remains, and options for memorializing your pet after death.
Remembering Your Pet
Don’t forget: The best way to honor your pet, your four-legged family member, is to remember the good times you had together and to be grateful that you were given the valuable time you had. Gratefulness goes a long way in the healing process, and helps us remember that, despite the heartache when our sweet ones pass on, that it was worth it… and that one day, it will be worth it again.
Rainbow Bridge Can Comfort One Dealing With The Loss Of A Pet
Whether you are dealing with the loss of a pet yourself or helping a loved one manage their pain, the Rainbow Bridge is always a nice story to share your sympathy in a very empathetic and caring way.
Source: CanineJournal.com
To share this infographic on your site, simply copy and paste the code below:
Video: Rainbow Bridge Song
Discussing and sharing stories of your pet after losing them one way to begin the healing process. We welcome you to leave memories of your dog in our comments below.
Another sweet idea is to create a dog gift or photo book with your loved one’s photo to remember them. Looking back through old photos allows you to relive the memories you cherished together.
How will you remember your pet?
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I adopted another 2 yr old white Chihuahua soon after be left me.in honor of ChiChi..I loved him so..I’m grateful for our time. I have 5 adopted rescue dogs & a foster, all from Kill Shelters. I’m doing the best I can..thank you for allowing me to honor ChiChi’s memory.
Most people say to me, Amy…you need to relax, they are not children, they are JUST dogs. I take objection to this, as I do consider myself a doggy Mammy of three beautiful floofs, one of which passed away tragically this week.
Unfortunately I have been very unwell for the past year (at 29) and have been at home 95% of the time. I was very isolated but so happy that I had two dogs to keep me company but I really felt that I could offer more to other dogs in Ireland. Ireland does not have a great reputation for dog pounds/dog fighting/puppy farms/racing etc. I volunteered with a local charity who’s aim was to protect pound dogs of Ireland to foster a dog/s while I was still in recovery.
Honey, the tiny and lean pup of 10 weeks exploded into my life along with her little sister who we named, Sugar. I named her Honey as from the moment I met her, she stuck to me. She just wanted me to hold her and love her. As a dog lover, I tried to detach myself from the puppers to a certain extent, as it is particularly hard to let go, especially when they get so attached at that age. A few weeks went by a Sugar final got a home. Honey, best friends with sugar, also adored to play with my goofball, Nellie, but she howled when Sugar left. I brought her to my room, my husband scolding me jokingly, and from that night on she began to run on the routine of my 2 other girls. My love for her was never ending and she, the blundering awkward pup, with a bizarre high pitched growl and bark, constant concerned eyebrows, and brown eyes that would melt the coldest of hearts, began to become one of our pack. As the weeks went by, much to my delight yet complete shock, no one offered Honey a home. My husband said to me on my birthday…Happy Birthday, Amy…My gift to you is Honey Bunny….she was wearing a yellow ribbon against her ginger coat. Having completed her injections, that day we went for a walk together for the first time, a pack of 5.
Honey would have been six months old his week. Everyday we would go for walks in the parks, or the open fields. She would prance, almost like a miniature greyhound around parks, introducing herself unsolicitedly to ‘friends’ both human and canine. Nellie had a bestie, someone she would run with, play with and snuggle with. My Mo, was happy that Nellie gave her a break! It was a fantastic dynamic.
She loved to play catch, but above all things, be with her Mammy at all times. I would talk to her and she would look back at me as if she knew what I was saying.Honey gave me a purpose when I was ill. She minded me more that I could ever mind her. This month marked the end of a rollercoaster year and I was so happy I was entering a new era with my happy family. A lovely chaos. It was a short term hope.
On Sunday 2 June, 2019, my Honey Bunny died, leaving behind pure and utter devastation, sadness and bewilderment. We went to a park, her favourite park to mix’ n’ mingle in. In the past, we would park adjacent, and cross the road while carrying them and brought them well enough inside the park before letting them run free for 40 mins. On this day, I carried Mo and Nellie across to the park, while my husband carried our Honey and the dog leads. There was no logic as to who took which dog.
Honey somehow, looking at her mother and sisters walk ahead, managed to escape the grip of my husband and darted towards me, standing the far-side of a busy road. The rest of this story is a blur. I heard my husband shout her name in a panic. I turned around to see her happily run towards me while also seeing a car come around a corner at the same time. The next thing I remember is my husband telling me not to look, and I had to remain in place as I was protecting my other 2 dogs. I just screamed. My husband crying and I could see a tremor of her little body and tail, which I subsequently I learned was her nerve cells dying. It was instant. A blink of an eye. She was dead within the seconds my husband got to her. I learned this when he picked her up and her lifeless body and head flopped side to side. A single bang to the head of the middle of the car. She didn’t suffer, wish is a small mercy.
Two young girls offered to look after my two dogs while I could attend to Honey. It is an image I will never forget. Her soul was gone. People came by on the streets crying and offering condolences. I can’t remember really. I can just remember her. Gone.
Her time on this earth was fleeting but she mad an indescribable impact on my family. My health improved as she needed so much minding, she had an energy about her that was so pure and good. She sat glued to me when my other two babies were more independent and reclusive due to their hard backgrounds. I loved her the same as them but she needed me more. She slept in the bed with me. She was my baby.
4 days later and I am still raw as if it just happened. I suppose the best way to describe it is that it comes in waves. One minute you think you are dealing with it, the next you feel like your heart has been ripped out. I feel like I am the cause of this little woman’s death…she was only 6 months old and our negligence killed her. I pictured her with me for at least 20 years, in my mind. I constantly think about the what ifs…what if I had carried her instead of the others or what if we didn’t go to that park, why did my husband lose grip…the fact is, she is gone, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it.
Due to the nature of the accident. We dropped our other two in my mother-in-laws while we figured out what to do with our baby girl. We rang the vet and the vet said he could clean her up to say goodbye and speak to us about our options. I really want to reach a place were I don’t think of what she looked like when it happened but just think of her as her. We kissed her good bye and hugged her, still in complete denial and shock, and covered her little head with a blanket. We are cremating her and it is something which I am finding very hard to comprehend.
Along with the guilt, the trauma and the loss, the impact it is having on the other girls is beyond upsetting. Nellie, a little woman to busy playing with Honey or Mo and explore to cuddle, is now glued to me, not eating as much, sniffing for her friend and playmate and constantly looking for my attention. Mo nearly seems happier but is lashing out uncharacteristically.
I am at a complete loss and I don’t think I will ever be able to cope with all the emotions here. Call me weird, I know it was a short relationship, but I have never grieved about a human, never-mind an animal like I have this week.
I am sure people phased out after the first paragraph but I actually feel better writing this down.
Thanks for the platform.
Appreciate any advice, particularly in relation to my remaining baby girls.
Two questions before I share his story:
1–Later today I am going to a local animal rescue and picking up a lonely buddy for a “shelter dog sleepover”. I will bring him/her home and care for them over the weekend. In theory, it seems like everyone can benefit. The dog and I can keep each other company and distract from anxieties. And the shelter volunteers will have less of a workload. Has anyone heard of this or tried it?.
2–Should I get another dog soon? I am definitely a dog lover and will get another, but when? Any bad experiences with this? I feel like it would help my lonely and obviously help a rescue out there.
Thanks everyone that shared your sad stories. I’m not embarrassed anymore to share mine. Dexter was recently diagnosed as diabetic. I was only a month into giving him insulin shots and catching his pee in cups to test glucose, etc. Dex got very lethargic one night and couldn’t stand up. I took him into emergency. He passed away at the emergency vet that night. His heart stopped while getting an IV of fluids. It happened right when I left to walk out to my car and grab my phone charger. They yelled after me in the parking lot. Like he knew I left him and got scared. But I was coming right back. We had been in there about an hour prior to that. He didn’t have any other (known)health issues before this. Very happy snuggly basset. Why didn’t I take him in that morning when I knew he wasn’t feeling well? I knew he was diabetic. Why the hell did I need to charge my phone? I just want my baby boy to come home. Can’t stop crying. It all happened way too fast. The vet said he was diabetic, and a month later He’s gone forever.
The day after it happened I escaped to my parents house. I couldn’t be at my place around Dexter’s stuff. I spent days, depressed in bed at my parents. No work, nothing. I started to calm down last weekend so I came home. A ton of bricks fell on me when I did. His smell, the random shed hairs, everything. I relived it all over. Yesterday was the first day I got out and was around people. I really hope I’m on the upswing. My skin has gotten pale and my psoriasis broke out from no sunlight. I feel weak from not moving around for days. Just been laying here crying and being really hard on myself, leaving only to get fast food. I never eat fast food! Usually I sort of enjoy making food. I just straight up miss that goofy big-eared little booger butt. Shhh don’t tell my friends I loved talking baby talk to him. This emotional rollercoaster is getting really annoying.
Phew! This was a big step. Helps even if no one reads. We are loving people and are going through our own versions of this torture. Maybe that will help the loneliness a little, ugh who knows.
We had a really nice memorial for her the next morning, and we took her ashes home in an urn. Two days later, we are both in a lot of pain. We decided to clear out most of her belongings, and keep a couple of her favorite toys on the shelf next to her ashes. It hurts so much now, but time will eventually heal us. Thank you for your attention. My condolences to anyone who has been through this.
From what I read online, Gabapentin is not supposed to be given to dogs with renal issues because the drug is excreted through the kidneys. I can’t help to think that this is what caused the sudden spike in his creatinine level from 1.2 to 11.+
Two days into our 7 day vacation we got a call from the police department letting us know that he had been hit by a car. He was calling to ask what we wanted to do with his little body. My heart hurt, like really hurt. Telling my 4 boys was the hardest thing for me to do at that time.
I have so much guilt for leaving him behind. I have so much anger and hate towards my family.
All I can think about is did he think we didn’t love him, did he think we abandoned him, was he looking for us, was he emotionally hurt because we left him.
The day we left for our trip all I wanted was to hurry home and have him jump on me, showering me with kisses, and seeing how happy he was to see us.
I will never forget him not wanting to go and looking out the car window as my sister drove away.
It has been over a month and I’m still crying myself to sleep and my heart still hurts. I didn’t know that my heart could actually hurt because he’s gone.
I thought I was all cried out since losing my bassett hound, Dexter, 2 weeks ago. Your story talks about the most painful part for me. It’s the guilt! The guilt! I can’t take it! You are not guilty, we are not guilty. I KNOW that, but I FEEL the opposite. Wherever you are, know that I’m out here hoping you and your family heal soon.
Typing this little paragraph out just helped. I think we all should keep talking about our pain on platforms like this.
Rest In Peace baby Mace.
Rest In Peace my precious wittle 70-pound booboo doodoo stinker basset baby buster butt.
I had to make the same horrible decision last week. The second
hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Even harder than my cancer, chemo, surgery and radiation. They were fantastic fur-children. They were my joy, my light, my everything. We did everything together. Walking, kayak ing and beach combing. I’m am truly heartbroken. My heart goes out to any one who has to go through this.